By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
