I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize