Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
