a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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