I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
