ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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