Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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