And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
