Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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