after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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