please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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