ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize