ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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