i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Barsexuality is the new black.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
