1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize