under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ok first of all what the fuck
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