What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
