i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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