Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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