do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
