Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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