I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
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I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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