Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
