WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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