Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
