wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
