Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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