Four minutes until I can fart!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
