I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize