mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
