i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
