I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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