Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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