you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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