I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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