Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
