Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I believe in your delicious
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need water and some morals
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
