what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
