I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
wow bdsm is so cute
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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