Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My penis needs a shock collar
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
