Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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