yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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