he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
