i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She bit a glass in half.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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