(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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