This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
