the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
