Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish my penis had a tongue
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh god was she eating orange peels again
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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