Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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