is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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