...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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