Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
