Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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