You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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