Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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