One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
