Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
