i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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