Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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