his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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