i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
