I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
