two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
