stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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