i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
if only i could text you this smell
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize