that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm both gender and math confused
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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