my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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