Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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