i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
