She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
