I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Everything about him screamed your future.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
